“Say your love is unconditional all you want, but some people just aren’t made to live together.”
Are you thinking of taking the plunge? Has your relationship been going really well, and you’re considering the next step?
That’s so exciting! I’m super happy for you!!
But make no mistake, moving in with your significant other is a big deal.
It means you already have a strong commitment to each other. Not only that, it also means you’re ready to spend nearly all of your free time with them.
If that thought only makes the idea more appealing, we’re off to a good start.
What makes me qualified to talk about this?
While I’m not a counselor or anything, I have lived with my boyfriend for well over half the time we’ve been dating. Which is almost 4 years.
And I’d say it’s a pretty darn good relationship. While we may disagree at times, we rarely fight. And we’re extremely supportive of each other pursuing our life goals. He’s the best partner I could ask for, and I love him with all my heart.
I know, super mushy.
Alright, enough of that.
But I absolutely love living with him. And it’s worth noting that we moved in together after less than a year of dating. It was actually only after about 9-10 months.
Believe it or not, I had not a hesitation in the world. And I have absolutely no regrets. While they say, “When you know, you know,” there were a few more reasons I was so sure of my decision…
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4 Signs to Look for Before Moving in Together
1. You can see him/her being “the one”
We had long been past “I love you.” I knew this was the real deal.
It’s pretty simple: if you don’t think you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person, then is moving in together the best idea? You may be setting yourself up for getting stuck in a relationship you already don’t see having a future.
Moving in together isn’t permanent, no. But it is certainly a form of commitment. If you’re having doubts, there’s nothing wrong with dating a little longer first. If not, then you may be ready to take the leap.
2. You’re comfortable letting him/her see you at your worst
Living together is not like one endless, romantic date. The time of rushing to throw on some make-up before seeing them is gone. No one wakes up looking like Elena Gilbert in The Vampire Diaries.
Long before moving in together, my boyfriend had seen me without make-up, seen me gross and sweaty after a run, and seen me sick. And I’d seen him at his worst too.
If you’re going to move in with your significant other, you need to be comfortable being your absolute self around them first. Period.
3. You practically live together already
After almost a year of dating, my boyfriend and I practically lived together already. It just stopped making sense for us to live apart. So it was a very natural next step for us.
Based on certain life circumstances, this certainly won’t be the case for everybody. Some couples have to live long distance. Others have demanding work or school schedules that keep them apart more.
But at the end of each day, you should want nothing more than to come home to your significant other. If you have that feeling, moving in together may be the best next step.
4. You do chores together already
Life isn’t continuous extravagant dates like on The Bachelorette. It takes a lot of discipline and work to pull off this whole “adulting” thing.
Now I’m not saying you have to invite your significant other over just to do laundry, but it’s definitely important to do some of these daily life tasks with each other before moving in together. It tells you more about what living as a couple will actually be like.
My boyfriend and I would cook dinner and clean it up together. We also did actually do our laundry together, and we’d help each other take out the trash at our apartments.
Then when we moved in together, it didn’t really even feel like much changed. We were already there.
Why is this even important?
Because I personally support living with your significant other before marrying them. Not everyone will agree with this for various reasons, and that’s okay.
But I 1000% stand behind it.
There is no better way to learn about someone than living with them. Plus, you’re planning to live with your significant other after marriage, right? Why would you want to wait to find out if they have any annoying habits or dealbreakers until after you’ve tied the knot?
Say your love is unconditional all you want, but some people just aren’t made to live together. If you’ve ever had a less-than-optimal roommate experience, you know what I mean.
If you can’t live together peacefully, how are you going to have a happy marriage?
I think it was the best decision we could have made for our relationship. Just think, the worst thing that could happen is you learn you’re not compatible – isn’t it good you learned that now instead of two years down the road? (Not advocating for moving in together super quickly, just for moving in together before pledging yourself to that person forever).
My boyfriend and I are really good roommates. Sure, sometimes he’ll make fun of the way I load the dishwasher, and I’ll give him grief for folding his clothes with meticulous precision. But we’re respectful of each other and each other’s things. And I’m not surprised that it’s working out because there were these 4 signs that told me it was a great decision for us.
Of course, it’s impossible to know if it will go smoothly until you two actually take the step and move in together. But if you can identify most of these signs in your relationship, then chances are that it’s time!
What are your experiences with moving in together? Are there any other positive signs you’ve experienced that told you it was time? I’d love to hear in the comments below!